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Archive for the ‘friendship’ Category

To The Nice Guys

nice-guys.jpgThis is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

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My Paintbrush

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I keep my paint brush with me
Wherever I may go,
In case I need to cover up
So the real me doesn’t show.
I’m so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of what you’ll do – that
You might laugh or say mean things.
I’m afraid I might lose you.

I’d like to remove all my paint coats
To show you the real, true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
So if you’ll be patient and close your eyes,
I’ll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.

Now my coats are all stripped off.
I feel naked, bare and cold,
And if you still love me with all that you see,
You are my friend, pure as gold.
I need to save my paint brush, though,
And hold it in my hand,
I want to keep it handy
In case someone doesn’t understand.
So please protect me, my dear friend
And thanks for loving me true,
But please let me keep my paint brush with me
Until I love me, too.

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Friends Forever

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Friends. A simple word isn’t it? It’s uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren’t that, they’re the people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They’re the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don’t judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You’re tied together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but sweetest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life.

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Friends And Lovers

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I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. And it’s not because you’re unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You’re the epitome of every attribute and quality I’ve ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you’d ever consider. But I had to say it. I can’t take this anymore. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I know this will probably queer our friendship -no pun intended- but I had to say it, because I’ve never felt this before, and I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me.But I couldn’t allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And I’ll accept that. But I know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not dismiss that -at least for ten seconds- and try to dwell in it. There isn’t another soul on this planet who’s ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it’s there between you and me. You can’t deny that. And even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I’m forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me.

Quoted from the movie “Chasing Amy”

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Have you ever fallen in love,
But knew they did not care?
Have you ever felt like crying,
But knew you’d get nowhere?
Have you ever watched them walk away…
Not wanting them to go?
And whispered ‘I love you’ softly…
Not wanting them to know?
You cried all night in misery,
And almost went insane.
There’s nothing in this world
That causes so much pain.
If I could choose between love and death,
I think I’d rather die.
Love is fun, but it hurts too much.
And the price you pay is high.
So I say, don’t fall in love,
You’ll be hurt before it’s through
You see my friend, I ought to know,
I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

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  • Don’t worry about knowing people, just make yourself worth knowing.
  • Be friendly with the folks you know. If it weren’t for them you would be a total stranger.
  • Friends are those who speak to you after others don’t.
  • The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail and not his tongue.
  • The way to have friends is to be willing to lose some arguments.
  • Deal with other’s faults as gently as if they were your own.
  • A friend is a person who can step on your toes without messing your shine.
  • You will never have a friend if you must have one without faults.
  • You can make more friends by being interested in them than trying to have them be interested in you.
  • A real friend is a person who, when you’ve made a fool of yourself, lets you forget it.
  • A friend is a person who listens attentively while you say nothing.
  • A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
  • A friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.
  • . . . and most importantly, A FRIEND IS A TREASURE!

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NOTE: This blog will no longer be updated. It has moved to a new domain, along with this post, and every other post from this blog. It’s new home is Pounding Heartbeat. Thanks!

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FakE FRiENDS: Never ask for food.
ReaL FRiENDS: Are the reasons that you have no food.

FakE FRiENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
ReaL FRiENDS: Call your parents MOM/DAD.

FakE FRiENDS: Have ever seen you cry.
ReaL FRiENDS: Cry with you.

FakE FRiENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
ReaL FRiENDS: keep your shit for so long then they forget it’s yours.

FakE FRiENDS: Know a few things about you.
ReaL FRiENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FakE FRiENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
ReaL FRiENDS: Will kick the whole crowd’s ass that left you.

FakE FRiENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAl FRiENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FakE FRiENDS: Are for a while.
ReaL FRiENDS: Are for life.

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