You’re out of choices. You don’t know where to go. Every road you take seems to lead you to a dead end. Where should you go? What should you do? You feel so helpless. You’re overwhelmed with a lot of problems, and you don’t know how to handle them. Sometimes you feel like all your efforts are worthless, and they’re taking you nowhere. You’re so tired. You want to know if there will ever be a light at the end of the tunnel. You’ve been groping around in the dark, trying to feel your way through, making wrong decisions and careless actions. You’re scared… scared that you will regret your decisions in the end… scared that your strength right now, will even be your weakness in the future.
Sometimes, you cry. Sometimes, you tear down all pretenses, and just break down. You try to pretend that you’re strong in the midst of all your problems. But in truth, you’re not. You’re just a weak child underneath, longing for happiness and love like everyone else. But with every slap, with every blow, your heart suffers. Sometimes, you’re okay. Most often, you’re not. And you don’t know how much more you could take.
But… GOD is with you. You may or may not know it, but He’s always with you. Don’t be afraid. You can give your worries and problems to Him. You may not be strong enough to carry them, but He IS. He let his SON die in the cross for you. And he’s willing to do it again in a heartbeat. Because He loves you. It’s hard to feel that love when you’re at your lowest of lows, but it’s definitely there. All you have to do is PRAY and have FAITH. Remember, there’s longing and despair in the dark, but there’s healing and love in God’s light. Yes, it hurts. It hurts to fully relinquish control, and surrender to HIM completely. There’s always fear, that you might get hurt even more. But you need to TRUST. That’s the only way.
“I surrender myself to you, Lord. Thank you for loving me this much, to hurt me. Because I know, that with every pain, with every suffering, you’re allowing me to grow. With every problem, you’re preparing me for what’s in store, and you’re making me a better person. I love you. I may not understand everything, I may not see the beauty of your wisdom YET, but I know that you have a plan for me. Whatever your will is, Lord, SO BE IT.”