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Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

To The Nice Guys

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean [...]

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Prayers Of The Stress Impaired

NOTE: This blog will no longer be updated. It has moved to a new domain, along with this post, and every other post from this blog. It’s new home is Pounding Heartbeat. Thanks!

Lord help me to relax about insignificant details beginning tomorrow at 7:41:23 am e.s.t.
God, help me to consider people’s feelings, even if most [...]

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The Phone Call

A girl quickly punches a number into her phone and waits until she hears the other line pick up.
“Becky, I don’t know what to do, I really don’t. I love him so much and I don’t think he thinks of me that way. I mean, whenever I see him or think of him, I can’t [...]

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The Pit

A man fell into a pit and couldn’t get himself out.
A subjective person came along and said, “I feel for you down there.”
An objective person came along and said, “It’s logical that someone would fall down there.”
A Christian Scientist came along and said, “You only think you’re in the pit.”
A Pharisee said, “Only bad people [...]

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Don’t worry about knowing people, just make yourself worth knowing.
Be friendly with the folks you know. If it weren’t for them you would be a total stranger.
Friends are those who speak to you after others don’t.
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail and not his tongue.
The way to [...]

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NOTE: This blog will no longer be updated. It has moved to a new domain, along with this post, and every other post from this blog. It’s new home is Pounding Heartbeat. Thanks!

FakE FRiENDS: Never ask for food.
ReaL FRiENDS: Are the reasons that you have no food.
FakE FRiENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
ReaL FRiENDS: Call your [...]

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A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4-8 year olds, “What does love mean?” The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.
“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore so my grandfather does it for her all [...]

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Voice Mail In Heaven

Most of us have now learned to live with “voice mail” as a necessary part of our daily lives. But have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail?
Imagine praying and hearing the following:
Thank you for calling heaven.
For English press 1
For French press 2
For all other languages press [...]

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Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?
Customer: I can do that. I’m not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?
Customer Service Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma’am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right [...]

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Box Of Cookies

Imagine you’re in an airport. While you’re waiting for your flight, you notice a kiosk selling shortbread cookies. You buy a box, put them in your traveling bag and then you patiently search for an available seat so you can sit down and enjoy your cookies.
Finally you find a seat next to a gentleman. You [...]

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Girl Talk!

Did you know kissing is healthy?
It’s good to cry.
Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94% of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
Lying is actually unhealthy.
Only apply mascara to your top lashes.
It’s actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you!
89% of guys want YOU to make the 1st move.
Ya but 99.99% [...]

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One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “My dear child, why are you crying?”
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in [...]

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Women Are Amazing

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, “I’m tired, and it’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed.”
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled [...]

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Give God what’s right — not what’s left.
Man’s way leads to a hopeless end — God’s way leads to an endless hope.
A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma–but never let him be the period.
Don’t [...]

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Read Between The Lines

Message: Read this “HATE letter”. It is so funny and creative. This is a love letter from a boy to a girl… However, the girl’s father does not like him and wants them to stop their relationship……and so….the boy wrote this letter to the girl……. He knows that the girl’s father will definitely read this [...]

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Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer [...]

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